I tap out quickly and often. Sometimes even before the lock or bar is all the way on, especially with stuff like a kimura or a ‘chicken wing’. As soon as my arm is locked in I usually tap before my partner really starts cranking it. I don’t know enough to get out of there at that point and especially locks and bars that involve cranking the shoulder scare me. It feels like with very little effort somebody without control can do a LOT of damage very quickly.
Does it matter who taps you? I guess that depends on your ego. I get tapped a lot, obviously. Men, women, white belts, blue belts, brown belts. The only people who don’t tap me are people newer than I, but all I do is prevent them from tapping me. I don’t tap anyone unless they make a huge mistake. If I get submitted, I get submitted, who cares who does it? Does anyone really believe that if you’ve just started or have done BJJ for a couple of months you’ll dominate someone who’s been doing it for years, regardless of gender? Except maybe by spazzing out and using all of your weight like a bulldozer, but who’s winning in that situation, really, in the sense of winning = learning? I’d rather go with the flow, practice my defence, and not be so sore or even hurt that I can’t go to class the next evening.
Plus, I’ve noticed that patience is a virtue when defending, because sooner or later there will be a mistake and, as it happened last week, you can almost transition naturally into a different or even dominant position. We did positional drilling, practicing getting out of headlocks, and I was in the lock, tried to escape (against one of the monsters in our class), got out and in the scramble his back just presented itself and it felt like I was literally flowing into back mount, hooks in, scarf on, without even thinking about it. That was pretty cool and it was nice that our instructor complimented the transition, as well. Made my day, really.