Look at my Steve.

Full disclosure: I’ve been fooled by Christwire before, when Ariancita emailed me an article about Bears and Twinks fighting for dominance in the Gay Scene. It was just so weird that it could have been the real deal – we all know how repressed and odd and twisted Christians can be.

But now, that I know the territory, I get a kick out of it. Like this marvelous piece on the Straight Edge Culture:

The Straight Edge gang started when youths went to musical performances at bars. They wanted to ingest so many drinks and drugs that they were on the “Edge of death,” hence the moniker Straight Edge. They told their friends to continue feeding them alcohol even beyond the point of being coherent. They would draw an “X” on their hands with a marker before leaving home for the musical performance. The friends would see the “X” on the back of the hand of a body laying the corner of the bar. With seeing this marking, they would know it was encouraged to force more alcohol into the person. Sexual acts and drugs soon followed.

This is just spectacular. It gets even better:

Their outfits of tight fitting and dark colored clothing should have been enough to warn me. However, they also brandished tattoos. Some of these tattoos would even cover an entire arm or leg. Deliberately covering ones entire arm with a series of tattoos is known as “having a Steve.”
This chart correlates the body part to drug preference.

  • X on back of hand – alcohol
  • Right Arm “Steve” – all pill drugs (Ecstasy, Ridilin, Ambien, Viagra)
  • Left Arm “Steve” – anal play
  • Right Leg “Steve” – cocaine
  • Left Leg “Steve” – mushrooms
  • Both Ears holding large plates “Caged” – bestiality
  • Nose piercing – Open for anything

Damn, I wish I’d never gotten that ‘Steve’.

And it makes me remember the conversations when I first got my lobes pierced when I was thirteen years old about what side the ring had needed to be on. The saying was “Links cool, rechts schwul.”, which translates as the left side is cool, the right side is gay. And you definitely didn’t want to ‘send the wrong message’. There was also a time where I was very obsessed about the color of my shoelaces in my Doc Martens boots. But that’s another story.

Well, I ended up having both of my ears pierced more than once, even though I downgraded to one stretched hole on each side as I grew old and boring.

So, with this list in hand, if you see me on the street, you know that I am into:

  • all pill drugs
  • anal play
  • and bestiality

Not your usual son-in-law, beaches!

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One thought on “Look at my Steve.

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