Hiking Metal Punks

As part of my ‘making-life-more-fun’ project, which in addition to planting vegetables & flowers also involves hiking I’ve just gotten my first pair of hiking boots! Leather ones! On sale! In Vermont! They do kinda look like shit though, but what gives. So now there’s really nothing standing in the way, although I’ve gotten a little obsessed with finding proper shoes for the hot and humid and fucked up summer here on the Southern New England coast (unfortunately, we don’t live in New Hampshire OR Vermont). This did also got aggravated by the fact that The Wife found three, no FOUR pairs of shoes and a down jacket on sale!

And we looked at woodcocks. Now, while I can get some pleasure out of watching birds, I’m definitely not a birdwatcher. Never have been. When I was little I hated the segments in nature documentaries on birds. Fuck the birds, I want to see spiders, reptiles, other mammals. If it has to lay eggs, then give me at least a platypus. Not that animals are smart, but I think birds are probably the least smart of them all. And, come on, they do all (and I mean ALL) their business through one opening. The cloaca. And do you know what the technical term for bird sex is? Cloaca Kiss.

You’re welcome.

So back to the hiking. Once we got back the Nutmeg State I looked on the internet for hikes and it turns out that a tiny part of the Appalachian Trail goes through this state. And there are a bunch of other hikes, so it’s time for this Sitting Metal Punk to become a Hiking Metal Punk. There are of course a number of questions, my hiking ability (read: endurance) being one. Others are: how much food do you take for a day-long hike? One power bar? Two? A handful of nuts and fruits? And what about shlepping water? And what about the fucking ticks? I don’t want to get Lyme Disease (even though, although The Wife disputes this, I think I might already have Lyme Disease…) so how do I get those little fuckers out quickly enough?

I’m already feeling exhausted. But fear not, hiking will commence this spring and summer!

And maybe I will be turned into a vegetable thanks to Lyme Disease by fall.


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