You want lotion with that high?

Last week I had to drop by the Rite Aid to buy some anxiety deodorant, because a) I was out and b) I had a training the next day and needed some extra-protection. And in those situations my hippie deodorant just doesn’t cut it. So I went in, walked through the aisles, got my stuff, and went to the cash register. When I walked around the corned I saw a whole bunch of M&Ms bags scattered across the floor and a Rite Aid employee half-heartedly picking them up while looking at the woman who had knocked the stand over. She was a white lady, high as a kite (trust me, after living in districts with methadone distribution busses parked at the subway entrances  for several years you know the signs), standing there, looking around, holding a big bottle of body lotion. The cash register was behind her so I passed her and stood in line.

The Rite Aid lady asked her: “Miss, are you okay?”


“Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“WHAT? No I’m fine.”

That went back and forth a bit and then the woman opened the body lotion and took a BIG slug. I will never forget the face of the Rite Aid woman, as she said:

“You can’t drink that!!!”

“WHAT?” *cough*

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

This conversation probably went on for a while and I have no idea what the outcome was, but it was my turn to pay and out I went.

Man, I have no idea what that woman thought, but I doubt she remembered this the next day. I wonder what this is like. I imagine it like being almost in a dream state, where things happen but they don’t seem real and you do things like trying to peel a baguette like an egg (something that yours truly dreamt last December).

Yep, that was the highlight of my week.


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