Even though I (mostly) like playing board games I should let you know that I’m not a good looser. Every time somebody throws a wrench into my plans, like killing off one of my characters in Gloom, I have a little two-year-old inside my head who goes “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!” and whose anger is only kept in check by my Über-ich, which prevents me from throwing a major fit and ripping your eyeballs out.

I just thought you ought to know that.


UPDATE: George Carlin thinks I’m right:

Sore Loser? You bet your fuckin’ ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows that you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously–that’s for chumps. And losers, by the way.


2 thoughts on “Games *UPDATED*

  1. that’s ok. i’m a really bad winner. like to the point where people won’t play with me any more. i say things like:

    “too bad you lost. you were good. just not good enough. does this happen a lot in your life?”

    “i feel really bad. it’s like i’m re-enforcing your loserliness. of course, it’s not my fault you are a loser. perhaps you shouldn’t play board games with people.”

    “wow. this just confirms it. no one is ever going to love you.”

    “thanks for the game. i’m going to go hide the sharp knives now because this can’t be helping with your struggle to regain the will to live. i’m glad i’m not a loser.”

    and yes, i always do win. because i cheat. because i’m not a loser.

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