It’s Christmas – almost.

Christmas is right around the corner and this will be the first one I’ll be spending in the US, so I’m curious and excited. Also, the year is almost over and it has been the Year-of-Wrapping-Things-Up. One thing that will happen is that I’m through watching The Wire. So sad, I am really going to miss that series. Back to Christmas, though. See, the insane thing about America is all this barely legal, almost guaranteed to be bad, telemarketing substratum of the internet and TV. Don’t get me wrong, some of this stuff is pretty practical, but I can’t help but think that there’s a reason why the majority of it never sees the light of day and not only the electronic flicker of a screen. Take the nose-warmer, for example. I have a cold nose, but I wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing on of these. There are a couple of vendors, but my favorite is Original Udder Balm DOT com. Come on, with a name like this, can you go wrong?

Another thing I came across are Tater Mitts (be careful, video autostarts) – which is kinda useful,  but if you think about it, you’d probably be faster peeling them the old-fashioned way. I love the announcer – “NOT WITH A KNIFE! IT CAN BE DANGEROUS!” Almost too good to be true.

Then there is the Slanket, which is, you’re right, a blanket with sleeves. Get it? The great thing here is the pitch “Large sleeves let your hands run free! Reach for the phone and order pizza,” while, you know, still being under the blanket! Wicked!!!

So take your pick – these are gifts for the one relative who already has everything.

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