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Here, have some MRSA with your gout!

Jesus Christ, it’s so hot here that I if I should die I’d shrivel up within a day so the people who’ll find me will think that I’ve been dead for almost 100 years. I mean, seriously. I want a more temperate climate! I also should add that I’ve had a horrible day today involving one gigantic deathmarch errand throughout the entire down for one fucking stamp on a documents for which I had to cough up $100!

And to round this day up, I’ve just learned that “MRSA infections are sweeping the nation.” What the fuck? I’ve never heard of this but the fact that this came up during a conversation about leprosy should’ve make me afraid. A little reminder, leprosy makes you look like that guy. Doesn’t really make you suitable dating material, let me tell you. Now, MRSA stands for Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, and

[t]he initial presentation of MRSA is small red bumps that resemble pimples, spider bites, or boils that may be accompanied by fever and occasionally rashes. Within a few days the bumps become larger, painful and eventually open into deep, pus-filled boils.

That’s not all, because apparently it can also spread to your organs and fuck them up. Oh, and you’ll also get abcesses. Yum! And the free bonus is exactly this – it’s free! It’s totally contagious and you can get it basically everywhere. I just wonder, as the Americans are hand-sanitizing the shit out of things and the Germans don’t, why I haven’t heard about this being a problem in Germany. That’s a serious question. Maybe the germs aren’t allowed to enter the Fatherland? Maybe the autorities are keeping a lid on it? Who knows. You know, thinking about diseases it’s a miracle that we make it through life in one piece! Think about  gout, for example, which

is characterized by excruciating, sudden, unexpected, burning pain, as well as swelling, redness, warmth, and stiffness in the affected joint. This occurs commonly in men in their toes but can appear in other parts of the body and affects women as well. Low-grade fever may also be present. The patient usually suffers from two sources of pain. The crystals inside the joint cause intense pain whenever the affected area is moved. The inflammation of the tissues around the joint also causes the skin to be swollen, tender and sore if it is even slightly touched. For example, a blanket or even the lightest sheet draping over the affected area could cause extreme pain.

It sits in the big toe. And sucks, big time, as expressed by James Gilray in this little drawing. It has something to do with your diet, or more specifically your uric acid intake. Which is apparently in most things that are yummy (well, except the offal).

So yeah, I guess being able to walk all the way through town with both big toes intact is not such a bad thing, if you look at it from this perspective. However, that doesn’t make me feel less grumpy about the missed Canning Workshop I wanted to attend and whose venue had been changed 2h before it was supposed to start. I don’t know about you people, but I check my mail in the morning and then I leave the house and might not be able to check it again come evening.

Fuckers.

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